Last night’s episode of RAW (the first episode of 2015) was … awkward. This episode showcased perfectly how the heavy emphasis on the story and drama can easily turn away fans.  I wouldn’t go as far as to say the episode was bad, but the thing as a whole was bogged down with the weight of the beef between the Authority and John Cena. In-ring action took a huge back seat to the story, which is one reason why (in my opinion) the accolades for Wrestle Kingdom 9 continue to roll in. Great action in the ring accentuated by a simple story tends to make fans happy … but the on-going, convoluted drama between superstars makes sponsors and advertisers happy … where’s the happy medium?

2014 Was Aight 2015 Is Critical

Last year an audible saved WrassleMania from bombing. This year… an audible would be a serious mistake. I don’t give a flying fuck that Daniel Bryan is returning in the Rumble… you stick to the plan and have Reigns win it all. Yes, I was also in favor of having Orton/Batista as planned last year. I be wrong sometimes. What I’m not wrong about: WWE has to pull the trigger on a new big time star/main eventer. How many matches do all their part timers have left in them anyway?

Let me come right out and say: I have less than negative interest in seeing Daniel Bryan go over Brock Lesnar. If he didn’t get hurt, it would have been him and not Cena taking that asswhipping at SummerSlam. I’m not saying he can or should never be a world champion again. Just… not beating Brock Lesnar. If there was any plan other than putting Reigns over, I haven’t minded the part time Lesnar as champion. Only thing I do different is have him beat up Orton in St. Louis. I think having him as an attraction works, because I literally smile and watch with intrigue to see what he does. The only problem there is… how long can Reigns just beat up the heels on the roster? Rusev is getting stale to me. Rollins is the new best in the world. WWE has given us matches like Ambrose/Rollins and Rollins/Reigns on odd Raw episodes… akin to the overexposure of the Orton/Cena rivalry.

I figure here is as good a place as any to all out bitch at the sheer idiocy that is building an entire PPV around ousting “The Authority”. Bringing in Sting to drop HHH and put Ziggler on top of Rollins. THEN ONE MOTHERFUCKING MONTH LATER THEY’RE BACK IN POWER!!! How EYE would have done it is simple: next year during the build to Mania, have Cena turn heel and break Ric Flair’s record with help from The Authority. Then Reigns will go over as a conquering hero two years in a row at Mania. WWE sucks creatively so watch they do some trash like have Sting and HHH fight for power over WWE. Storylinewise, it makes logical sense for Sting to be all “I’ve seen what happens when the wrong people get power and only push their friends” nshit…. but still. You just got them out of power in late November. If that happens, that means they lose power again in late March. Four months. Losing power twice. Do not like.

No one is being hurt or helped in the Bray Wyatt/Dean Ambrose feud. I don’t know why they’re fighting so many extreme stipulation matches, or who is winning them. No bueno.

Is Cesaro still alive?

People are claiming “The New Day” has failed because, ironically, something about a group of negroes smiling and dancing and being all positive… makes them uncomfortable. THE ENTIRE INTERNET WAS SO ECSTATIC THINKING THIS WAS THE NEW NATION OF DOMINATION. So… you’re comfortable with scowling negroes raising Black Power fists and railing against The Man holding them down? I see you. I hope they don’t get put on the back burner. Lord knows including the call up of The Ascension there are five tag teams. Ppl been wanting Cody and Dustin to fight for years. Miz and Mizdow are inevitably breaking up. So. Long term. There is The Usos, The Ascension and The New Day. DEPTH.

No AJ or Paige? No interest in what the Divas are doing.

This about sums up my pertinent wrassling thoughts.

TLC 2014 Sucked and You Know It: A DiZ Review

It’s no secret that I can’t stand Cleveland.  I can’t stand Cleveland as a city, as a concept; the sports teams there make me vomit, the local politics are mad corrupt, the police force is more corrupt than other places in the United States; I actively fear for the souls of my family and friends in and near the city.  To this day I say that only four good things can be associated with Cleveland:

  1. Drew Carey
  2. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
  3. Halle Berry
  4. The ability to leave

So in that regard, maybe, JUST MAYBE, I’m sadistically pleased that such a crap PPV took place in Cleveland.  It’s exactly what the crap city deserves, and this is incredible because it was working in the shadow of the mindblowingly wonderful NXT event on Thursday.  Rumors were that the Raw and Smackdown talent were looking to step up after that brilliance that was REvolution, but I’m somewhat torn to say that I can count on one hand the guys that actually did, and to be fair, they were the cats that came from NXT anyway.

But this isn’t about me just up and bashing the PPV in a long post.  That’s what pages are for!  Let’s get started, because today I utilize a new system of grading: the Jermaine-o-meter!

panda

Text Messagin’ w/ Mr. Lamb – Kevin Owens

Mr. Morris – “How mad would u be if Kevin Owens debuted like The Funkasaurus? Lol

Mr. Lamb – “Yes and yes.”

Mr. Morris – “Cool.”

Mr. Lamb – “Owens ain’t coming out in no comedy act. He hungry. For blood.”

Mr. Morris – “And Funk.”

Mr. Lamb – “…Shut up.”

It's Still Real to Me, Dammit!

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