Last week was a boring week in professional wrestling. The most interesting thing that transpired was a wrestling promotion I don’t care about may not be here next year because they’re bleeding money and losing their television deal. Honestly, I feel the problem is too much emphasis on entertainment and not enough on the sport of professional wrestling.
I often go to sleep and wake up thinking about wrasslin. Last night I went to sleep thinking about how the belts aren’t as important as the graphics they use before title matches. Fuck your “the belts are just props” logic. In any sport, we remember the champions the most. I think it will help when they unify the IC and US titles. Because ever since they unified the WWE and WHC belts, now you see two former world champions holding the midcard belts. Last year, and for years before that, the WHC was more often than not, jerking the curtain, and while officially a world championship, it was as important as the midcard belts used to be. Which rendered the midcard belts irrelevant. WWE would debut a guy and in a month or so, slap the belt on him. Then he’d do jobs, and not get over, and they’d repeat this cycle with another midcard guy.
I hate wrasslin fans who complain about the predictability of the sport. It IS a pre-arranged thing. More often than not, the good guy is supposed to beat the bad guy. The reason I’m complaining that I’m bored is because the pay per views really do feel like Raw. Raw is three hours long but they still do a bunch of three minute matches I’m apparently not supposed to remember or care about. I’m PAST sick and tired of almost every Raw starting off with The Authority or someone coming out and having a talking segment for 20 minutes. SmackDown is a better deal for me, but they often sprinkle the show with B-listers and rarely continue stories from Raw, and Raw is recapped for about 20 minutes out of that two hours. It really is time for WWE to do things different.
Fast forward to the future. None of us are looking forward to the Hell in a Cell pay per view. Because we know the cell itself will have like NO bearing on the match. We aren’t expecting guys to climb on top and fall through to the ring, or jump off the top and throw people through the announce tables and all that… but any kind of cage match USED to mean you would use the cage as a weapon. So it’s a logic black hole for two guys to get locked inside a steel structure and not use it as a weapon. They just have a no dq match with a cage around ringside. Don’t get me started on ‘Falls Count Anywhere’ matches almost always ending in or around the ring.
THAT’S what was dope about the Attitude Era and even what some call the Ruthless Aggression Era… they were having violent bloody creative finishes like when Bob Holly fought Al Snow by that water. Yes, it was influenced by ECW. That was when “anything can happen in WWE” MEANT something. And now you rarely hear it. Because Vince knows damn well he’s shoveling the same old shit down our throats. I’m not saying they need to bleed every week in every match… but there needs to be blood in Extreme Rules matches and cage matches and such. It just doesn’t make sense to lock six men in the Elimination Chamber and they all come out looking photo shoot ready. Orton got busted open the hard way in MITB and honestly it helped suspend my disbelief that eight men had a fake fight for belts hanging over the ring.
Many people are writing things about how WWE shafted Zack Ryder and their officials are honestly happy Daniel Bryan got hurt the moment they gave him the big moment. And my response is, this is why WWE is losing money. You do not have enough money to try to pay me to try to write all those hours of live and taped wrasslin. So I can’t say it’s easy. I CAN say it’s simple. I’ve been saying for a while that the people they creatively invest the least amount of time and effort in have the best programs… BECAUSE THEY’RE SIMPLE. WWE is shitting the bed with this Fandango thing unless their intent is to give up on him and bury him. There were two choices. One, let him have both of those women and push him by having them interfere in his matches. Two. Have them both leave him alone and push them in the Divas division, interfering in each other’s matches. And WWE chose C: have them slut themselves out to whoever his opponent is, help them win with no real story and not wrestle at all. There is no money in that. They are just whores kissing random superstars every week. They don’t wrestle. This time last year Fandango was the future of the business. This year he’s losing every match because some bitches start dancing during his matches. And it’s DUMB to invest money in a guy then give up on him in a few months.
Zack Ryder got himself over and so much has been written about him. I personally don’t like him but over is over, and handled right, he could have eventually become a serious world title contender. But WWE buried him. They don’t even sell his merch anymore. A couple of years ago there was such a big deal about them trademarking his catchphrases, likeness and name. And now he’s just the guy who it’s a big deal that he won for the first time in two years. (because of them sluts helping him) Fans want to see Dolph Ziggler be the man or at least closer to it than he is. Again… I don’t see it, but I DO know underutilization when I see it. He is barely there. WWE misuses so much talent, to try to entertain us with midgets and song and dance. BITCH WE TUNE IN FOR WRASSLIN!
You can make an argument that my generation grew up spoiled by seeing The Rock, Stone Cold, HHH, Mick Foley, Kurt Angle, Undertaker, Kane, Big Show, Shawn Michaels, Eddie Guerrero, Chris Benoit, Chris Jericho etc every week. And before that, Hulkamania ran wild. I assert: John Cena don’t write or book these shows. It’s not HIS fault we’re not really supposed to care about anyone else. Proof: people don’t chant his opponent’s name, just anti and pro Cena chants more often than not.