No… You Are Not Awesome

Apropos to the up and down love we have for the WWE product, I both love and loathe the night after Mania crowd and how it hijacks the show. I feel like WWE needs to do a better job with how they portray the characters they want fans to cheer for. Roman Reigns is out there dying because in some fans eyes, he is “worse than Cena.” That is short for “Generic. blah. Nothing special. The chosen one, and the wrong choice.” The positive energy and love the hardcore fans have for good wrasslin enhances the matches. Most Raws are before absolutely dead crowds that only come to life to cheer and or boo Cena and Reigns, and pop for Daniel Bryan and Dolph Ziggler. Maybe Ambrose.

I don’t like the audience going into business for itself. Putting itself over. Wrasslin fans are very fickle and short sighted creatures. Daniel Bryan has a fucked up neck. He only has so many bumps left in that diminutive frame of his before he goes the way of Edge. Nothing about him BESIDES how over he is with the fans makes him a candidate for being THE man. But, these so called smart fans think somehow he should have been the one to divest Brock Lesnar of the gold. They think he should win the Rumble and main event every year. These same people will complain about WWE’s overreliance on part time talent and how barren the landscape is as far as new stars go. These are the people who chant “same old shit”… while rooting for the same old shit to transpire.

I’ve been seeing a lot of complaints about Seth Rollins AND Roman Reigns “not being ready.” I read a post on WrassleZone yesterday where a fan said it’s weird that Rollins and Reigns are the new main eventers and they cannot see Bryan or Cena being used to put over young talent in the midcard. Again… these faux smart marks don’t understand the nature of the business IS that it’s cyclical. You need to cycle fresh faces in the top and you need steady hands working the middle, because… how was Bad News Barrett and Ziggler and Luke Harper and the like elevating the middle of the card? Spoiler Alert: they weren’t. Fans bitched and pissed and moaned that for many years, every PPV featured either Orton or Cena or both going for or defending a world title. And now WWE is giving new stars a chance and the fans who gripe “same old shit” want to see guys who have been at that level for years but not doing much with it continue to get opportunities to be meh on top.

I can pull out pieces I’ve written on here going back a year about how “Roman Reigns is the new Cena and that’s not good.” It cannot POSSIBLY be good for the bottom line if even half of your audience despises the person that you have positioned as the top guy in the territory. Even if people buy the merch because their kids like him or their girlfriend likes him, it’s not good to HAVE to book in a way that won’t get your shows shitted on. Many speculate that the only reason Rollins cashed in WAS to have Mania not end with fans booing and walking out on the big moment of him celebrating his victory. The problem is twofold: first… the nigga has had zero character development or story as a singles competitor. He’s just a guy with an ugly logo on his flak jacket. He was going to feud with Seth Rollins and I’d imagine he’d have been a part of Team Cena last fall. Those two storylines would have helped some. Then he came back and feuded with the Big Show and had a one off with Bryan. Meh. The other thing is… protecting a babyface too much to “make him look strong” is about as healthy as being the guy who is uncomfortable displaying emotion, who sees crying as weakness. There is an inherent power in healthy expression of emotion. Something about letting your eyes sweat gives you power to move forward past that which that has wounded you. Getting your ass beat is the same exact thing in wrasslin. The days of Hulk Hogan have ended. Fans are no longer moved by a guy who almost never loses, because he just takes the beatings and wins in the end. The thing that made Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock highly lucrative commodities in the late 90s to early 2000s was the fact that we saw them in peril. Stone Cold lost his title to Undertaker AND Kane. The Rock got screwed out the the title by Vince McMahon PERSONALLY at Mania 2000 and X7. There is a reason we don’t use the term ‘monster babyface.’ Because it doesn’t fucking work. There has never been a good movie or book about an imminently beatable villain and an unstoppable hero. That shit isn’t interesting. There is no drama. People like Batman more than Superman because you can actually shoot Batman in the face and kill him. So, if WWE wants fans to like Roman Reigns, he has to be in danger. The situation needs to be impossible. Hopeless. As I’ve written before, him versus Lesnar was that. Suplex city, bitch. No one else on the roster is Lesnar, so they need to use The Authority as a unit to oppress Reigns and JUST maybe, by SummerSlam fans will be more receptive to the idea of him as the hero.

Again, as I’ve previously written, if you watched the main event at Mania and didn’t think Reigns showed something, you’se a motherfuckin hater. If you don’t think Seth Rollins has been well placed as the chickenshit heel all babyfaces must chase, your ass is blind. The fact that so many so called fans are not here for those dudes is exactly why WWE fans are, in fact, not awesome.

I SAID We’re Here For The Stories

First and foremost, Seth Rollins is the best in the world and I hate his guts. He totally ruined the story I was here for, which was Reigns beating Lesnar. I actually would have been fine with the cash in after the match. Reigns acquitted himself well. But he is now blemished at WrassleMania. The biggest stage. Seth Rollins literally stepped on the back of his head and took his moment from him. Don’t get me twisted, I’m not angry. In fact I’m going to attempt to write this with no profanity.

I didn’t want Seth Rollins to lose to Orton but that finish? The single greatest RKO of all time? Yeah. I’m good with that. I DEFINITELY didn’t want Sting to lose to HHH and shake his hand afterwards. Even with the piece of sledgehammer factoring into the finish. Bray Wyatt losing to Taker. Meh. Back to the finish of the main event. That match was good theatre. The unbeatable champion seemed peeved that the unproven challenger kept absorbing his offense with a smile and even laughter. Brock F5ed Reigns seconds into the match after being hard wayed. Then he got hard wayed again. Several suplexes and two F5s later, he got hard wayed again. And again. Then Reigns was starting to hit Superman punches and spears and no matter how many it took, that match deserved a finish one on one before Rollins cashed in. That’s all I’m saying. Tonight, Rollins is champion. Reigns DEFINITELY proved he deserved to be in the spot he was ‘given’. And anyone who says different is a motherfuckin hater. Now that Reigns will be forced to chase Seth Rollins, we’ll see if he gets the karmic comeback of winning MITB and cashing in. But I’m pretty sure WWE will keep him away from the title for now. And many of Reigns’ haters will glory in that. Dumb so called smarks will call anything he does in the interim a step down. Because it’s TOTALLY not clear having your new top babyface chase the new top heel is the proven recipe for success. It’s Cena and Edge all over again except Edge wouldn’t even let Cena have his moment. Damn him to hell. LOL.

Some jabroni named Nic Johnson says this Mania was weak: out of the last 10, only 21, 23, 24, 30 and 31 were any good. Again… my only gripes are Reigns ain’t leave with the belt, Taker won and Rollins lost then won the damn belt. Not too shabby. I’ll be interested to see where we go from here tomorrow night.

We’re Here For The Stories

I hate wrasslin fans. I hate the dumb ones. I hate the smart ones. I hate all of us equally. Because we all want different things for different reasons and most of the things we want defy all logic. At the end of the day, the wrasslin is supposed to tell a story.

The idea for this came to me when I realized that GOOD wrasslin booking is applicable to every great story EVER told. I’m reading a manga called Akame ga Kiru. Guessing that translates to “Akame The Killer”. The titular character, Akame, does not appear much where I am in the story. There is a character named Tatsumi who seems to be the central character. And then there is the villainous General Edsese. She is overpowered as shit. She has the ability to use ice to freeze things and as a blunt object. Akame just appears to be someone who is really good with a sword. She does not appear to have the power necessary to defeat Edsese. Just like Roman Reigns “isn’t ready” to beat Brock Lesnar.

I’m both writing this to tell you why all of you people (especially you, Quinn) are morons for wanting Brock Lesnar to retain the title AND to make a larger point about what so many people don’t understand about fucking storytelling and what makes one compelling. Because we all know wrestling is scripted and Roman has been pencilled into this moment for the last two years, many reject WWE’s plan because “it is forced”. But if we didn’t know what a work was, if we thought it was a shoot, Roman is the underdog who can’t beat Brock Lesnar according to everyone who has spoken on the subject. Brock Lesnar’s presence is overpowering. His resume is unmatched. Roman has no business winning. And he will. Because otherwise… this is the same thing as the circle jerk that was the Bellas storyline from last year. Pointless.

At WrassleMania 3, Hulk Hogan beat Andre The Giant. This is brought up as such an important moment in wrasslin history so often because Andre was undefeated for his entire career. You would not need to be a mark to think Hogan had no chance in hell. Andre was allegedly 7’5, 500 lbs. What no one ever brings up about why Hogan slamming Andre is so important: NO ONE HAD EVER DONE IT BEFORE. People slam The Big Show all the fucking time. And people beat The Big Show with regularity. So Roman Reigns beating up Show impressed no one. That and… Hogan slammed Andre and beat him damn near 30 years ago. Wrasslin fans are almost impossible to impress nowadays because we have seen everything. There was no internationally known wrestling superstar before Hulk Hogan, not on that level. And since then there have only been Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Rock and John Cena. Roman Reigns can’t lace their boots. And THAT is compelling to me, that the beginning of his ascension to the top is him proving he belongs.

Last year all of you pissed me off with your obsession with Daniel Bryan being champion. It was like you didn’t understand that the genesis of The Authority was a heel turn. It was like you had forgotten Daniel Bryan had pinned The Big Show and then teased him about how short his title reign was. It was like you had forgotten that when Sheamus beat him in seconds at Mania 28, it was symmetrical and karmic. It was like you had forgotten that he is one of only a few men who can say he pinned John Cena clean in the middle. It was like you couldn’t comprehend him losing the title and being repeatedly screwed out of the title wasn’t a burial, it was building his sympathy as an underdog babyface that had everything but the fans against him. It was like you had forgotten that authority figures have done the. same. exact. SHIT to Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin, The Rock and John Cena before him.

So… you all bitched and pissed and moaned about WWE not giving him ‘a moment’ or ‘a push’ as though that entire paragraph preceding this one wasn’t moments and pushes. You booed Batista winning the Rumble that you cheered his return for, knowing he returned TO win that match AND the main event at Mania. You cheered for Roman Reigns to upset him, knowing full well that shit wasn’t going to happen. You knew then that Roman would most likely win this year’s Rumble and the main event of Mania and be pushed as the new face of the company. You cried some more like the little bitches that you are when Daniel Bryan got eliminated, KNOWING he wasn’t going to win anyway. You shitted on Roman’s moment and have rooted for him to fail ever since, BECAUSE yall some ole dumb ass bitches. You, for some god forsaken reason hope to see Daniel Bryan beat Brock Lesnar. I REALLY don’t understand why you want to see that. You were given a reprieve by Daniel’s neck injury, because that asswhipping Cena took at SummerSlam was intended for Bryan. And that’s what should happen to him pretty much anytime he runs up against the likes of Brock Lesnar. You don’t seem to understand that Bryan and Reigns had such a good match against each other at Fast Lane that they WILL do it again in the future. That Bryan will win the world title again. You bitches cry like you didn’t JUST get Bryan beating three members of Evolution in two matches in one night LAST year. That… again… he had so many great moments LAST year. Why do you begrudge Roman having HIS moment this year?

You people do realize that your faves, Dolph Ziggler and Daniel Bryan suck at promos in real life, no? Yall realize Bray Wyatt and Dean Ambrose ain’t the best wrestlers in the world, right? You DO realize that the aforementioned Mount Rushmore of wrestling top guys weren’t the best wrestlers OR promos right? Saying Roman “isn’t ready” because of time in the promotion is irrelevant because Brock Lesnar ironically enough, had much less? Yall really should shut the fuck up when yall talk to me. Now that that rant is out of my system, back to storytelling and why Roman winning is best for business.

When The Shield debuted, Roman was powerbombing every major star in the territory. Some (like Quinn) would say that Roman was more ready THEN for this push than he is now. Ya’ll niggas would still be crying now if he did, doe. I wrote here many times, Roman got ZERO character development after the group broke up. He still has the group’s entrance, the theme, and the ring gear. He has not appeared to grow or change in the last year. That’s to your point that he is not ready for prime time. His BIGGEST problem is the one HE is the solution to: he had no real competition. When Roman debuted, Ryback was hot. The Rock was around. He powerbombed The Undertaker through the announce table. He was a part of beating up Cena, Bryan, Orton, and Sheamus. His two singles feuds worth a damn… was Orton again, and Bryan. Ryback cooled off then realigned. Sheamus got hurt. He can’t feud with Cena because that confrontation should be the current face of the company versus the old one… in the main event of WrassleMania. WWE is in desperate need of new main event stars. Over the last year, guys like Bray Wyatt, Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins and Rusev have been pushed to that level. And they are not ready for it… because every year at WrassleMania the guys being called on to carry Raw, SmackDown and 11 odd PPVs a year take a backseat to a bunch of old dudes LIKE Brock Lesnar, The Undertaker, HHH, Sting, The Rock etc. Now Roman is half of the main event of Mania, signaling the birth of a new era. And YOU motherfuckers want more of the same old shit YOU complain WWE shovels into your mealy mouths.

You see, when Roman wins that title, press play on Seth Rollins cashing in on him and joining him in the club. Roman Reigns will be the 45th champion in WWE history. Seth Rollins will be 46. At some point in the next 5-10 years provided motherfuckers stay healthy and off drugs and whatnot… guys like Cesaro, Wyatt, Rusev, Ambrose and Kevin Owens will join them. They will carry Mania cards and WWE can do A special attraction match as opposed to building the whole fucking top of the card around guys who do not regularly appear on their programming. Roman will be a vulnerable champion who will have to have to constantly prove himself against everyone I’ve named in this rambling beautiful work of art I have created while being an insomniac. You people who are wrapped up in how he shouldn’t beat Lesnar seem to not understand this is a work and that’s precisely why he WILL.

Brock ended The Streak, demolished the face of the company, then no sold several finishers to TOTALLY get you to forget that has lost to Cena and HHH. He’s beatable. Believe that. LOL That’s the only story that makes sense and sets up a certain future where new main eventers get made. Or, do you niggas wanna go ahead and admit you really love the bullshit you be complaining about now?

L.E.W.Dicrous Palaver (formerly the Second L.E.W.D. Council Live Meeting)–3/21/15

Three weeks.  We’ve been at it for three weeks now and we’re showing no signs of stopping.  On 3/21/15 myself and the incomparable Mr. Gammon spoke on the Road to Wrestlemania, TNA, my failed attempts at a-courtin’ Sasha Banks (an ongoing process, I assure you) and the latest exploits of John Morrison.  Give it a view!

Adrian, stop calling us.  We’re ignoring you.

PLEASE STOP LISTENING TO YOUR DUMB ASS AUDIENCE VINCE

Rumors that HHH is pushing for Lesnar to be re-signed and retain the WWE title are making the rounds. I’m not sure if it’s a work or a shoot. What I do know is that I’ve been wrong about WWE’s creative direction for the last four WrassleManias. I thought Cena would beat The Rock at 28. I thought CM Punk would beat The Rock at the Rumble and end The Streak at 29. I thought Batista would win at 30. I think the smart move this year is to take a chance on Roman Reigns. So this probably means that Brock Lesnar WILL retain. Which is a terrible fucking idea.

One of the worst things to happen to the sport of professional wrestling is most of its fans thinking they know what good booking is. Good booking to wrestling fans is whatever the fuck they think should happen. Let me tell you plainly that it would be terrible goddamned booking if Roman Reigns loses on 3/29. Because, basically… you’ve built the last several Manias around old dudes on their way out or they are next to never on your shows. CM Punk would still be in WWE if he was the focus at 28 and 29. 30 was about Lesnar ending The Streak and then winning the title at SummerSlam so he could drop it to someone at 31. To not pull the fucking trigger now, is throwing away the last few years. And CM Punk is a UFC fighter now. In wrestling… name me ONE time they didn’t pull the trigger on someone and then people wanted to see that person rise up later. I’ll wait. Lemme help. Lex Luger. LOL. Yeah. Never.

Mark Madden and other dumbasses keep saying “Reigns can’t carry a 20 minute talking segment” while ignoring the fact that there is never any fucking need for a pro wrestler to stand in the ring and deliver a 10 minute monologue before being interrupted by an entrance theme. All I need to see is. the way the crowd pops for homie’s three moves of doom. I was amazed at the fact that he wrestled a good match with Daniel Bryan and didn’t get booed the fuck out of the building. If “make Roman look strong” is the directive, why have him get ‘manipulated’ into putting his main event spot on the line? Why have him lose twice on Raw in the last month after not being pinned in a singles match in 3 years? Why build his main event push around the notion that EVERYONE is saying “he can’t”? NONE OF THAT MAKES ROMAN LOOK STRONG. ALL OF THAT IS SHITTY BOOKING ON WWE’S PART.

Related, unrelated: I’ve been watching the oldest WWE pay per views on the Network. I grew up a Hulk Hogan fan, brother. The booking back then was terrible to me. Not the main event stuff. The undercard. Back in the 80s WWE had every major name from all the territories they killed off. Legends like Steamboat and Harley Race and JYD never held the WWE heavyweight gold. In this era everyone on that roster (that wasn’t a jobber) would have been like a 10-15 time champion. I’m not saying that’s bad. I want to go back to that actually. Get rid of the Money in the Bank. Yeah I said it. MITB is an excuse to suddenly put the belt on people who probably have no business winning the world title. WWE will be forced to either put the belt on Rollins 3 months after giving it to Reigns, or not give it to him. Either option isn’t great to me. And in my opinion Seth Rollins is the best worker they have. Anyway… like I was saying: the booking was terrible in the undercard. It left WWE completely unprepared for the departure of Hulk Hogan. John Cena will not do this forever. They need to elevate a few young stars while he’s still there to prepare for when he retires.

Another thing I often think of… people complain Reigns is ‘over-protected’. Because John Cena was out there getting rolled up by Kofi Kingston. I’m sure in Hogan’s day, when Hulkamania was running wild… people complained that he was burying everyone and winning all the time. All those people are fucking morons. There is no getting over as a top star and losing with any regularity. Cena might lose clean once a year. Dirty? Three times. Max. Reigns has already lost dirty twice this year. Smh. I hope they do the right thing and go all the way with him. Cena and Lesnar are near 40, dog. If not Reigns then who? Daniel Bryan? That was last year, famalam.

Second Second L.E.W.D. Council Live Broadcast

Welcome one and all to the second Second L.E.W.D. Council Live Broadcast!  On Pi Day 2015, at approximately 9:00 PM EST Mr. Morris and I went on for an hour and some change about the WWE, TNA and a few things that may or may not be related.  Halle Berry is not related, I admit, but since when do you need a reason to talk about Halle Berry? 

Never, that’s when!  Enjoy the show!

Leave your comments here or on the Youtube page.  We still love you all, all of you fans, all of you supporters, with all our hearts.

Outside of you, Adrian.

We still hate you.

[EXPLETIVE]

It's Still Real to Me, Dammit!

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